Well, yesterday I went to see the resident dentist. She declared that I will have to lose five of my back teeth. Next day. So today, I'm really frightened for the first time. Becsy couldn't get time off, so my old chum Claire agreed to pick me up afterwards.In the end, they sedated me and I knew nothing about it until I was walking arm in arm with Claire back to her car. Kept drifting away and asking her if I could play her mandolin or did she want to finish that drink.
Morphine is running out too. Must sort that out. Thing that they don't tell you about morphine is how it fucks up your short term memory. Normally when I leave the house I check my pockets - tobacco, phone, keys, lighter, wallet. At the moment I'm spending half an hour on the doorstep trying to remember what it is that I've forgotten. It's like a ninety day trial period for dementia. Thing is, if it's a ninety day trial - you're going to forget to cancel it. You'll have forgotten why you didn't want it in the first place anyway.
That and the milk shake power drinks. Remember when you were about 11 and thought it would be really cool if you could have milk shakes for breakfast dinner and tea. Well it fucking isn't. I'd like to get a hold of my 11 year old self, slap him and say " Be careful what you wish for you wee shite, it's me - your 50 year old self that will have to deal with it" Selfish wee fucker.
Tomorrow I get fitted for my mask. They fit a mask so that every time they zap you with radiation it hits the same spot. So tune in for more jolly cancer japes tomorrow
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